If you think you might be at risk for HOCD and denial, its important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional about your concerns. Thus, experiments are not needed, you get a feeling on your own. One such experience is shared by a boy. Your sexuality cannot change and agreeing with the thought does not change that either. 2023 Karstenkoehn. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment for HOCD and can help you learn to manage your anxiety and live a full life. HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. Couldn't repair the damage. You noted that you dont want to be in a same-sex relationship because you are Christian. HOCD, on the other hand, is obsessional thinking about whether or not you are gay, even when you are 100% sure that you are not. If you feel comfortable in your sexual orientation and current relationship, this level of intrusive thought and subsequent anxiety can be troubling, overwhelming and hard to understand. By using ERP in our sessions, you can look forward to better days ahead. But even if you do have feelings for other guys, its not a total disaster. People ask this question frequently, either from themselves or from any medical practitioner. Its too soon for a label while youre still figuring things out. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. HOCD has been around for a long time and, to those in the know, is an established and well-understood sub-type of OCD. 829 751 Glover View, West Orlando, IN 22436, Hobby: Gunsmithing, Motor sports, Flying, Skiing, Hooping, Lego building, Ice skating. I've been a licensed counselor since 2013, having run my private practice with a steady influx of OCD cases for several years. We need to assess on our own whats what. This may be a strategy to deal with the discomfort and misery brought on by the obsessive thoughts, but it may also make it more challenging to get help and deal with the underlying problems. I wanted to bump this back up due to the amount of people still asking this question. I've been struggling with this issue for about a few months now. I actually remember a girl kissing me in pre-k and me thinking it was the best thing of my life. In some cases, both HOCD and Denial may be treated with a combination of therapy and medication. Dr. Valentine utilizes behavioral-based therapies including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) with children, adolescents, and adults experiencing anxiety-related disorders. My specialist has told me he has gotten all types of guys with this. (Video) Am I gay or in denial? But the difference between you and me is that you would be selectively attended to members of the same sex to check how you are doing. Whatever subtype you're experiencing, I can help. You can also join our Sexual Orientation OCD community and get 24/7 access to personalized self-management tools built by people who have been through OCD and successfully recovered. Contact us today to schedule an online therapy or download our free OCD treatment app on Android or iOS for more information. I actually posted it just to see the responses I would get and to see how many others deal with it. Someone in denial may be obsessively thinking about a traumatic event they experienced, even if they dont want to think about it or dont want to admit it happened. (2) attempts to resolve the fear through some sort of compulsion (research, checking, testing yourself etc.) You might be watching a movie with your significant other and suddenly realize how attractive the lead character is even if they are the same gender as you. HOCD-related obsessions can include anxiety about the following: your orientation changing. For those who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorders like HOCD, it can be especially beneficial. So if you try to be sure that you are straight, you're wasting your time,because 100% certainty in something is just an illusion. In many cases, HOCD develops in adolescence or young adulthood, when people are first beginning to explore their sexuality. Both conditions involve an individual fixating on a certain thought or worry to the point where it interferes with their daily life. You enjoy the physical qualities of a man. 3. Its like I will see a good looking guy and my mind will tell me "you want to . Denial about your homosexuality can be traumatic for the individual and their families trying to support them or stand up for them. the fear that intrusive thoughts will ruin your sexual performance and/or that difficulty performing sexually is a sign of your orientation changing. Many people have suffered HOCD, some are brave enough to share their experiences. Im sorry to hear you are struggling. During ERP, your therapist will work with you to build a plan specific to your OCD to help you learn new ways to manage thoughts, feelings and responses to your obsessions. When I started treating OCD, I quickly realized how much this type of work means to me because I had to learn how to be okay with discomfort and uncertainty myself. (Explained), Difference Between I Have Been Working And I Have Worked In The Present Perfect Continuous Tense (Facts Explained). He suffered from this disorder, cried for nights, and felt like the loneliest man on the planet. Learn more about our services and book today! The subjects often experience intrusive, unwanted mental ima. The fact that straights are uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and gays are uncomfortable with opposite-sexthoughts should demonstrate that fear exists in all forms. All The Differences, thats what we care about. I want to bump this back up to the first page. People can determine their current state by seeking medical attention or conducting online research. HOCD has affected gay people as well. Gaming. Pedophilia obsessive-compulsive disorder (POCD) is a subtype of OCD with intrusive thoughts or obsessions based on fears that you might be or become a pedophile. You can have gay relationships if that is what you want. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). Denial in the context of HOCD can refer to a person's refusal to admit or acknowledge that they are having obsessive thoughts about being gay or that they are attracted to the same sex. Regardless of age, OCD makes living with joy a challenge, which makes Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy so crucial in OCD care. Both manifestations are subtypes of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a common anxiety disorder characterized by recurring, unwanted obsessions including thoughts and ideas, and compulsions such as repetitive behaviors or mental acts. I know for a fact Im attracted to females but the fact that Im even questioning myself in the first place makes me feel like there has to be something there. To get started, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with our clinical team, who will help determine the best options for you. Many dudes experience it. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. I decided that I wanted to help people with OCD, so I became an OCD therapist, and eventually, a clinical supervisor. Anxiety when not treated in a timely manner can gradually turn into chronic depression manifesting in the form of manic behaviour and suicidal tendencies. ERP goes beyond other methods and tackles the problem head-on. I want comments that encourage me to fight this and never give up. When you have homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how do you know if youre gay or not? I just found this sub. being in . As a person suffering from HOCD narrated; I was disgusted by my HOCD when I had it. Through this exposure, your therapist will help you develop response prevention measures based on what you hope to accomplish with therapy. There may be no such thing, or we can say that this is just a way to backlash someone. Sexual orientation OCD (HOCD). Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has often been called "the doubting disease". Understandably, the thought of discussing your sexual concerns with a complete stranger may be uncomfortable. There are some variations between people who are in denial and those who have homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder. Privacy Policy. Our brains can be vexing in this way. A person who has OCD may feel extreme distress or upset due to these repeated thoughts or compulsions. Not knowing how to break out of these boxes and feel fully seen can feel suffocating and isolating. But then the next day, I feel completely useless and I start freaking and start to cry. Lol. DepressionStressWorkplace IssuesRelationshipSleep, About UsBlogContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseRefund PolicyLocations. This is a heterosexual persons fear that they will become gay. I now specialize in OCD and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Your email address will not be published. ROCD - Mark Fennell - Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Depersonalization: Can Intrusive Thoughts Change Me Forever? Gays are hiding because they are afraid of being rejected. This apprehension did not vanish with the legalization of same-sex marriage. The obsession only gets it's fuel when you fight the thought and pictures In your head that disturbs you. Many straight men are afraid of being gay. This in due course of time can proceed into lead to problems in social and personal life. So its important to know the difference between HOCD and denial. Questioning your sexual orientation is incredibly common, and its a thought anyone can have. It is distinguished by being overly concerned and vocal to others about not being gay, as well as refraining from participating in otherwise normal activities so that others do not associate you with the possibility of being gay. Those who dont believe its true: you havent had it, and you dont have OCD. Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. I think about this literally all the time, and it's very negatively impacting every area of my life. OCD isn't curable but with treatment it is managable. Answer (1 of 2): Search Results ~ Featured snippet from the web Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD): A Rare """" Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) is marked by excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual. In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. Morons, . HOCD and Denial are terminologies related to these. People with OCD give significance to intrusive thoughts, which can quickly become obsessions. Even if they are straight and do not desire to be attracted to the same sex, people with HOCD may have obsessive thoughts about being gay or about being attracted to the same sex. 2023 Differencio - All Rights Reserved. Difference between DNA Transcription and DNA replication, self-doubt of an individual regarding their sexual preference and identify, avoiding contact with people that have previously identified themselves as gay/lesbians/bisexual, unwanted sexual thoughts about people of the same sex, excessive fear of being identified as homosexual, Fully aware of the condition but denying about it, Trying to minimise the effects of the situation instead of accepting it, Blaming others/ external elements for the situation, Refusing to talk about your homosexuality, Ignoring the concerns and advice of family and loved ones, When confronted about your orientation, denying outright about lt, Projecting it as a problem and blaming others for it, www.choosingtherapy.com/hocd/#causes-triggers-of-sexual-orientation-ocd, www.simplypsychology.org/defense-mechanisms.html, www.apcbham.org/2019/10/01/denial-why-it-happens-and-how-to-overcome-it/, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/internalized-homophobia. HOCD is a form of OCD. They help you identify your HOCD or denial. Typical exposures for HOCD fears may involve looking at triggering materials, listening to triggering music, and being around triggering people (all without doing compulsions of course!). Whats the difference between HOCD and Denial. Coming out refers to the act of revealing ones homosexuality. It will still be decades before the general public is comfortable with the entire situation, and even longer before homosexuality is treated as just another gender, equal to being straight. These include having a family history of OCD or anxiety, being under a lot of stress, or have experienced trauma or abuse. When this occurs, the person with OCD often sees this as further evidence that they have been in denial all along. I eventually got over it, but Im still not gay and despise homosexual sex. Thats just having issues with your orientation. Denial is a normal part of the grieving process, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for too long. The mission of TherapyMantra is to provide inexpensive, accessible, and professional online mental health care to the individuals all around the world. Your true sexuality just wouldn't let you. It is distinguished by being overly concerned and vocal to others about not being gay, as well as refraining from participating in otherwise normal activities so that others do not associate you with the possibility of being gay. Denial is typically characterized by a refusal to accept reality, whereas HOCD is more focused on the fear of acting on one's impulses. There is a clear different from denial and HOCD. To start off I'm a 19 year old heterosexual male. 1. Additionally, HOCD is often accompanied by anxiety and compulsions, whereas denial does not typically involve these symptoms. Parker: Their Differences, What Is The Difference Between M.A. ERP gets right to the problem, and once you've learned how to manage OCD, the joy of life can fully return. For over 2 years, I have been experiencing intrusive gay thoughts. It often involves intrusive, sexual thoughts around prepubescent children. Hiding and revealing behaviors are psychologically complex. And if you discover you have feelings for women, thats fantastic as well. Ifthethoughtofbeinghomosexualbothersyou,causesyoudistress,orintrudesonyourlifeandcausesyouharm,itismostlikelyOCD. Obsessions are unwanted and intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges and doubts, while compulsions are repetitive physical or mental actions performed in an attempt to relieve distress and anxiety. Example: an EX Marine and Black Belt married with wife and kids. Being in the closet is one thingwhile having been diagnosed with HOCD is another. Others mistakenly interpret it as an early part of the coming out process. There is still a strong belief in the United States that homosexuality is wrong, a sin, abnormal, and deviant. Instantly I had a crush on her. OCD is a mental health condition that can cause a person to have intrusive and reoccurring thoughts and images, as well as feel compelled to repeat specific behaviors. In contrast, the homosexual response from both genders was more of a large-scale "I knew I was different.". Now I'm wondering if my gagging response to gay porn is genuine or I've trained myself to do it. Without advertising income, we can't keep making this site awesome for you. Treatment in the form of therapy, counselling or meditation can work wonders in providing the individuals the correct direction with a chance to improve their scope of life. Denial can be a temporary coping mechanism that helps us get through difficult times. Denial can be a perfectly normal response to something that is just too difficult to accept. So, screw you all who think HOCD is not real and is denial! Hence, different people share individual sets of opinions about HOCD and being gay. 6. For a quick web story summary, click here. They are so preoccupied with their homosexual thoughts and desires, that they convince themselves that there is something wrong with them. My HOCD would try and tell me id want to do something sexual with him but I know I'd never do it because I don't want to . Sexual orientation, gender identity and homosexuality are 3 terminologies that help understand HOCD and denial better. Denial is often treated with cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps patients to change their thinking patterns and behaviors. the fear of being in denial of one's sexual orientation or attractions. I'm freaked out by that. Spear and a Lance- What is the Difference, Peter Parker vs. PeterB. Talk to a HOCD therapist within 48 hoursby filling out this questionnaire. ""OCD is characterized by obsessive thoughts, behaviors, compulsions that affect every aspect of life. Denial is a type of defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety. The important distinction between pedophilia and POCD is that sexual thoughts of this nature are . Is HOCD Just Denial?? Many people with OCD that weren't being treated for it crossed my path and weren't getting better. Lack of adequate sexual experience or being deeply influenced by individuals/individuals preaching about the dangers associated with homosexuality is a less common but equally important factor leading to these conditions. I read that HOCD can cause arousal, as well. Medication. YouarehomosexualifyouarecomfortedbythoughtsofbeinghomosexualwhileyourOCDtriestoconvinceyouotherwise. Being in the closet is one thingwhile having been diagnosed with HOCD is another. (Explained), What Is The Difference Between Judo And Wrestling? They arent afraid to be gay. Many gay men struggle with this as well, for a variety of reasons. That associated with the fear of being rejected by society, having watched a homosexual individual get bullied or teased or having failed relationships/ bad experiences with people of the opposite sex can act as triggers to the condition. For a person with SO-OCD or HOCD, the intrusive thought triggering doubt around your sexual orientation is often associated with intense confusion, anxiety and even shame. Interruptive thoughts exacerbate the anxiety. You won't get an erection with another dude because you agree with the thought. The idea of me being gay will eventually get boring. Our brains can be vexing in this way. Ive been a licensed therapist since 2017. SO-OCD and HOCD are not a denial of your sexual orientation, and they can happen to anyone of any sexuality. Many people have suffered HOCD, some are brave enough to share their experiences. All types of OCD include obsessions and compulsions. I've started checking out guys on the street to see how I feel. by helpisneeded Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:15 pm, by ocdcrazy823 Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:02 pm, Return to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Forum, Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 50 guests. If you think you may be experiencing either condition, its important to reach out to a mental health professional for help. Its a form of homophobia, but its also a mental illness, and you should never be mean to people who are mentally ill. On the other hand, people who conceal their sexual identities are referred to as closeted or as being in the closet. This turns into unwanted thoughts and fears that youre losing your sexual identity or in denial of your attractions, as well as relationship issues and difficulty performing sexually. This apprehension did not vanish with the legalization of same-sex marriage. The best thing to do for this is seek an OCD specialists. How can you use these skills to bridge through the less positive days. It was really sweet of you to even read my post. But for the specific fear of being denial, life itself is the trigger and exposure means committing to that life. Many people suffer from this condition, and there are ways to cope with it. Sometimes because a woman doesnt seem to turn on by women and men dont seem to turn on by men. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Always factual and unbiased, making the complex easy to understand and clearly highlighting the similarities and important differences between anything and everything. Questioning your sexual orientation is incredibly common, and it's a thought anyone can have. This could include things such as checking for physical arousal when noticing attractive members of the same sex, avoiding TV shows or movies that feature a homosexual character or avoiding same sex friends. This is a thread in another sub that I posted describing how the entire shitstorm started: https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/. Or am I just in denial.. Is It ROCD Or Am I Not In Love? Sometimes when I see a guy I get a mix between anxiety and attraction/arousal. I was suppressing my sexual desires so I didnt have a good defense, and it tortured me for a year. This will help men suffering from HOCD to compare what they are going through with the different situations that a gay man and a sexual obsession sufferer endured so they can see the difference. Gays are hiding because they are afraid of being rejected. There are many potential causes of HOCD and Denial. Accept that sexuality is natural and that gay feelings are normal and not a bad thing. In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. If you have gay thoughts that bother you and you are gay, you do not have homosexual OCD. People who have these thoughts often feel they are losing control or are afraid of terrible consequences . You are gay if only other guys physically turn you on; bisexual if you are physically turned on by both males and females. Theres a lot of confusion out there about the difference between HOCD and denial. Ive been dealing with HOCD (Homosexuality Obsessive Cognitive Disorder). While this has no bearing on their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality. For more information, please see our We have a team of highly trained and experienced therapists who can provide you with the tools and skills necessary for overcoming HOCD and Denial. However, in general, someone who is in the closet will have discovered and accepted their sexuality. . Thats just having issues with your orientation. Copyright 2022 MantraCare Corporation | All Rights Reserved. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the form of therapy that is most successful for treating HOCD (CBT). Men who have . Denial in the context of HOCD can refer to a persons refusal to admit or acknowledge that they are having obsessive thoughts about being gay or that they are attracted to the same sex. For a quick web story summary, click here. , What is it called when you doubt everything? There are 3 types of denial. This goes for being bisexual too. OCD is a mental health condition that can cause a person to have intrusive and reoccurring thoughts and images, as well as feel compelled to repeat specific behaviors. HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. In both cases, the individual is likely to avoid anything that might trigger their thoughts or feelings related to the obsession. In your heart of hearts, at your very core, if your comfortable with and know you are , straight, then your straight. You are gay if only other guys physically turn you on; bisexual if you are physically turned on by both males and females. You might feel that you know your sexual orientation, and then suddenly you start thinking about the opposite orientation thinking about it so much that you become obsessed. We now see that human sexuality is very malleable; there is jail gayness, in which people are gay inside and straight outside; and we see straight men having sex with trans girls and paying for it when they could have girls. Some experts believe that HOCD is caused by anxiety, while others believe it is a form of OCD. Could this be ROCD? Anna Freud has referred to denial as a defense mechanism involving the refusal to accept reality and thus blocking external events from awareness. They may also try to compulsively engage in activities that counter the obsessions, such as straight men who overcompensate by watching hetero porn or avoiding all contact with members of the same sex. (HOCD, Homosexual OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD). Research from linguistic perspective also points out differences in male and female discursive behavior. HOCD is characterized by. So please, for your own good, don't do like I did. For someone with HOCD, this may be a fear that they are gay or lesbian, even if they have no prior experience or attraction to the same sex. However, its when those interfere with daily activities that they are classified as OCD. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. How does your religion view individuals within the LGBTQ community? Tip #32 The answer is not in your brain but in your ACTIONS. All types of OCD include obsessions and compulsions. HOCD or any other mental health issue cannot be cured entirely, in other words you cant get rid of HOCD permanently. In CBT, you'll work with a therapist to learn ways of thinking that can help you become less sensitive to the intrusive thoughts. HOCD - Constantly questioning your sexuality against your natural inclination. As hard as that sounds that's the only way out. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Am I refusing to face the facts? Maybe, youreoverthinkingit. If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might be in denial. Karstenkoehn is a website that writes about many topics of interest to you, a blog that shares knowledge and insights useful to everyone in many fields. Learn how to work with your thoughts and images. From your paragraph, I understand that you identify as a female with a desire to have a boyfriend. It's like oh look a guy is he attracted am I attracted to him. My graduate work is in mental health counseling, and I use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy because its the gold standard of OCD treatment. You might tell yourself things like, Its not true. Colon Broom Vs Metamucil: Which is the Best Choice for Constipation Relief? Social acceptance is also very important. Nothing has improved. Thus, experiments are not needed, you get a feeling on your own. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition where you experience obsessive often uncontrollable anxious thoughts with frequent compulsions in response to those thoughts. when you question it. What do you know about the people who suffered HOCD? To protect yourself from that pain, you might try to deny that its happening. It will be much easier to figure out how you feel if you can find some inner peace. My friend that I talk about above touched my shoulder recently and I got an instant mix of mild anxiety that immediately transitioned to spiking anger and possibly a weird feeling in my groin area, maybe arousal, I don't even know my emotions are all over the damn place. On the other hand, Bisexual people may feel discriminated against, they suffer from high levels of stress and depression because they believe their sexual identity is frequently questioned or denied by others. It knows it bothers you and wants you to obsess about it. It is not recognized in the DSM, nor by any reputable association of psychotherapists, psychiatrists, social workers, or counselors. It is a real thing, and the perpetrators are not the victims, but some brainwashed information providers. I've held a private practice for over 15 years, treating cases of anxiety and depression and seeing OCD come up as an underlying symptom.